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Denial

Denial.

After I left the hospital that day when Age passed....
I went to our home. Our things were left where they were when we left for our vacation. It felt like nothing happened.

My body was numb, exhausted  and my heart was racing. I felt like I had no strength to cry. I had thoughts running in my mind like; “Is this real? OMG? I’m not a widow I’m too young? What is happening? Did this happened? No not my Age? This isn’t real? This can be happening? Age isn’t dead? NO it’s not real?

I finally convinced myself that Age was out and he was coming home soon.
Ive decided I’ll just sleep in my lounge room and wait for him.
As I was trying to deny the fact he wasn’t back. I tried everything in my power to not believe that this was happening. I avoid going into our bedroom and stayed in my lounge room for days.

It’s was hard for me to talk to God or anyone that night. I wanted to isolate myself so no one could reach out to me or make a fuss out of me.

It started to get real - My family drove from Sydney to Melbourne that very day. They arrived at my place, I acted like I was okay and I tried to put in a brave face. There was one thing my dad told me to do “Be strong and give it to God”. At that time I didn’t listen to my dad, I just wanted to believe Age was alive. I didn’t talk to God for days.

That isn’t like me not to pray. I really didn’t want face it or even talk about it. I would also get mad when others would cry over Age too. I was so caught up being in denial, not wanting to believe it’s happening.

Being in denial doesn’t bring healing to you. It makes you run away from the problem. It keeps you isolated from your love ones. It drives a wedge between your relationship with God. Denial can hurt others around you.
Avoiding a situation delays your process of Healing.
The longer you try to avoid the truth, the harder it is to face it.

I encourage to pass it to God or talk to someone who can give you good advice about what you are going through. MISSAGE❤️
#Faceit #Youcandoit #Realtalk #Talkaboutit


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