Dating.

Dear Age,

I’ve done a considerable amount of writing since you’ve been gone, but I think this is the first time I’m writing directly to you. Perhaps it was too painful before, but I think it’s more likely because I don’t know the right words to stitch together to express all of the things I want to say to you.

You asked me once what I would do if you were to pass way suddenly. I told you that I didn’t know and I didn’t want to think about it. It’s been over 2 years and  three months and I still don’t know. I still don’t want to think about it. Life has gotten much harder since I’ve lost you. There are all sorts of decisions that I must make that I wouldn’t even have to consider if you were still with me.

I miss you. Sometimes it’s still hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that you do not exist anywhere on this earth. Your laugh, your smile, your vibrant personality are completely gone. Sometimes it feels like you’re going to walk in the door at any moment. Like its all been nightmare and I’m just about to wake up, At the same time, when I do dream about you I know that you aren’t really there.

There are so many times I need one of your hugs. Good hugs are hard to come by these days. It’s very difficult walking through life without you.

I miss you Age. Now, I working hard here on earth to see you again in Heaven. See you always beat me in every game, betting, car racing, pretty much everything you did you always tried to beat me and yes now that you’re gone I can finally admit it you always win... Look Age you beat me to Heaven 🤦🏽‍♀️.

Each step I take forward is a step further from you. I want you to know that you will always be a part of me, no matter where I go or who I love. You have left your name on my heart and it cannot be erased. The proof of our love lives in my ministry as I continue to love the Lord with all my heart and soul. As I love Jesus, I will continue to love you always. 

You will never know how much you meant to me or how intensely I’ve felt your loss. I know you’re at peace, bringing joy to our  Heavenly Father’s heart with your song. I know you are able to worship freely glorifying Jesus and reuniting with your beautiful mother and your two brothers.

Now that I have started writing to you I don’t want to stop. I will continue to build Gods Kingdom and love everyone I meet. I will see you again bubba. So I will end this letter by saying, I love you always and I am going to do my best to do the will of God. I will hang on to my faith no matter what and love others like you would have wanted.

I will always love you Age.❤️

Kisses to Heaven.